Remembering The End Of The World As We Know It.

This article originally appeared on FIVETHôT.

De profundis clamavi ad te, Domine
(From the depths, I have cried out to you, O Lord)
Psalm 130

Funny how even in the egalitarian US, we assort ourselves by rank. Tony, the oldest of us and most senior with the company, was driving; the next most senior, Oppy — David Oppenheimer — was shotgun. The two youngest were in the back, me and David Garfield, inevitably called Garf by analogy.

The little car wended up the mountain road, and we came to a high metal gate. An armed guard came out of the shack and stuck his head in the window. “You have any cameras or recording equipment?” No, we chorused — this was long before cell-phones. “You have any fire-arms or narcotics?”

Another chorus of no. but I muttered “What do you need?” under my breath, Continue reading


Mad Tourist Disease

This article originally appeared on FIVETHôT.

Two cows are talking, and one says, “You know, Bob, I’m worried about this ‘mad-cow disease’,” and the other cow answers…

There are about 10 endings to this joke and my favorite is “and the other cow answers, ‘Holy crap, a talking cow!’”

My second-favorite, and more relevant to this article I’m trying to write, is “and the other cow answers, ‘Well, that shouldn’t affect us chickens.’” Continue reading